The Marvel Super Heroes Podcast Episode 055

20th Century Fox’s X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

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Note: We like our language NSFW salty, and there be spoilers here…

Face Front, True Believers! Frank finally finished editing and releasing our coverage of the third; no sixth… Wait, do the solo movies count, since Origins had the team name in the title? Ah screw it most recent flick in the too long running X-Men franchise just a fortnight after its not-especially-anticipated release! And by “we” meaning a show run by Mr. Fixit while Frank lies passively on his back, nearly pulling a Fixit by almost dosing off several times and (speaking of releases) farting loudly and moistly following a full day of convention going and Mediterranean buffet gorging without Mac, who abstained from this outing! Also, Frank kept rolling around on the floor, bumping into the laptop and once accidentally shutting down the recording, making Fixit paranoid for the rest of the session! We’re in the same room, but you’ll swear it was a Skype session the way we phone it in at four in the morning! Also, Fixit’s recording panics, hiccups (one literal) and Frank’s bowel sounds are mostly edited out, which is more than we can say for the sprawling bloat of Bryan Singer’s latest, possibly last, arguably lamest outing with Marvel”s” mutants! Excelsior?

As you can tell, we love a fierce conversation, so why don’t you socialize with us, either by leaving a comment on this page or…

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3 thoughts on “The Marvel Super Heroes Podcast Episode 055

  1. HOLY FUCK. Mt Dew gets Fixit FIRED UP. Dude was going strong the whole 7 hours you probably recorded (I assume as edited it was 1:45).

    Also, please relax. Don’t fight unless I’m there to see. Thx.

    -Mac

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  2. I was bored for most of the movie. Like you guys said, the pacing was awful and there were so many scenes that went on way too long. During the final battle when Jean Phoenixes out everything goes slow motion and I almost begged the film to speed up so I could go home.

    Positives
    – Magneto’s story arc with his wife and daughter, until they’re murdered. Once Apocalypse recruits Magneto to his Four Horsemen, Erik loses all characterization and becomes as boring as everyone else
    – The actress playing Storm looked great
    – Olivia Munn looked great
    – Nightcrawler was used effectively, but he was no Alan Cumming
    – Apocalypse wanting to steal Xavier’s body/telepathy was cool because at least that was an original concept…

    Negatives
    – BUT if Apocalypse had Xavier’s power, why would he need Magneto to destroy the world and kill most of the people
    – Mystique: I’m so fucking done with this interpretation of her. J.Law is fine in non-genre movies, but I’ve never liked her in X-Men or the two Hunger Games movies I saw–and I’m pretty sure she was playing the same character in both
    – Storm was pitifully underused; a fully powered, super-charged Storm could be the most powerful mutant on Earth; she could create electrical storms, flash floods, hurricanes, wildfires, Biblical shit that could wipe a city off the map–exactly the kind of thing Apocalypse would want so it makes perfect sense that he want her for his Four Horsemen… but she didn’t do ANYTHING
    – Sansa playing Jean Grey
    – Cyclops is timid and weak, until he gets his ruby quartz glasses, and then he’s all “Yo, too cool for school, let’s hit the mall!”
    – Psylocke didn’t do anything
    – The look of Apocalypse
    – Apocalypse was shorter than Magneto
    – The Weapon X scene was too long, too graphic, too gratuitous
    – The Quicksilver “Sweet Dreams” scene was too long

    Still, being bored and not liking the new characters were still not my biggest problem with the movie. Not counting Deadpool, we’ve had eight X-Men movies, and they’ve only ever focused on four characters: Wolverine, Magneto, Mystique, and Xavier. It’s time for some new blood, like Frank says.

    Either they recast Scott and Jean, or–my preference–table the X-Men team for a couple years. Develop the NEW MUTANTS and X-FORCE properties. The former can be the kids growing up in a world that hates them. Keep the stakes small, no world-ending threats, just coming-of-age shit and honest character development. For X-Force, embrace what worked for Deadpool. Make it graphic and self-indulgent.

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  3. A pretty detailed account of the film and I STILL don’t know what the plot is, which I think it probably your best condemnation of it. I didn’t care to see this thing, especially given I always thought Apocalypse was total pants. I probably only hate Mister Sinister more. But the show was fun, so maybe it was worth making the movie after all just so I could get these couple hours of Rolled Spine. Maybe.

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